As the carefree days of summer fade and the structured routines of school approach, many children experience a mix of excitement and anxiety. For some, this transition can be particularly challenging, leading to heightened stress, frustration, or even anger. An anger management specialist shares essential steps to help parents and caregivers support children’s mental health and emotional well-being as they head back to the classroom.
Understanding Back-to-School Emotional Challenges
The return to school can bring a range of emotions for children. While some eagerly anticipate reuniting with friends and teachers, others may feel anxious about new routines, unfamiliar environments, academic pressures, or social dynamics. These feelings are normal, but for some children, especially those already managing anxiety or other mental health concerns, the shift can be overwhelming. Signs of back-to-school stress can include changes in behavior, increased quietness, acting out, tantrums, or physical complaints like stomachaches and headaches.
Proactive Strategies for Parents and Caregivers
Supporting a child’s mental health during the back-to-school season requires a proactive and empathetic approach.
Establish and Reinforce Routines
A consistent routine provides a sense of security and predictability, which is crucial during times of change.
- Gradual Adjustment: Begin adjusting bedtimes and wake-up times a week or two before school starts to ease children into the new schedule.
- Morning and Evening Schedules: Create predictable morning routines that include time for breakfast and getting ready, and calming nighttime routines like reading.
- Visual Schedules: Consider creating a visual schedule with your child to prepare them for the school days ahead.
Foster Open Communication and Validation
Creating a safe space for children to share their feelings is paramount.
- Active Listening: Encourage two-way conversations and genuinely listen to your child’s concerns without immediately trying to fix the situation. Ask them what excites them and what worries them about school.
- Validate Emotions: Let your child know that feeling a mix of emotions, including apprehension, is normal. Phrases like, “I know this is hard for you going from such a fun and free summer to the busy school day,” can help them feel understood.
- Avoid Dismissal: Do not dismiss their concerns; instead, acknowledge their feelings and collaborate on ways to handle their worries.
Prepare for New Experiences
Uncertainty can fuel anxiety, so familiarize your child with what to expect.
- School Visits: If possible, visit the new school, meet teachers, and explore classrooms and playgrounds before the first day. This can reduce anxiety and make the first day less intimidating.
- Practice Runs: Practice the school routine, including drop-off scenarios, to help children feel more comfortable. You can even practice walking into class while you wait nearby.
- Discuss Changes: Talk about any changes in academic expectations or routines to help them feel prepared and confident.
Encourage Social Connections
Familiar faces can significantly ease transitions.
- Pre-School Playdates: Arrange playdates with familiar friends before school starts. Research suggests that having familiar peers around can enhance academic and emotional adjustment.
- Community Building: Schools can also help by allowing time for community-building activities at the start of the year to help children reconnect with peers.
Teach Healthy Coping Strategies
Equip children with tools to manage stress and anger.
- Mindfulness and Breathing: Introduce simple self-care techniques like deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, or progressive muscle relaxation (squeezing and relaxing muscles). Resources like the Calm app offer programs for children.
- Physical Activity: Encourage physical activity, such as brisk walks, runs, or other enjoyable movements, to help reduce stress and release tension.
- Thinking Skills: Help children recognize negative thoughts that trigger anger and learn to reframe them more positively. Teach them to “stop and think before they speak.”
- Problem-Solving: Instead of focusing on what made them angry, work together to identify solutions. For example, if they’re worried about opening a locker, practice together.
- “I” Statements: Teach them to express their feelings assertively using “I statements” (e.g., “I feel mad when… because…”).
- Calming Corners: Suggest that schools or parents create calming corners with sensory materials like books, stress balls, or coloring sheets for self-regulation.
Model Positive Coping Skills
Children often mirror the behavior of adults in their lives.
- Manage Your Own Stress: Be mindful of how you manage your own anxiety about the back-to-school transition. Model positive coping skills and demonstrate confidence.
- Transparency (Healthy Way): It’s okay to share your own feelings of being overwhelmed in a healthy way, explaining how you manage your stress.
When to Seek Professional Support
While some back-to-school jitters are normal and usually diminish within a few weeks, persistent or worsening anxiety symptoms may indicate a need for professional consultation. If your child’s distress continues beyond the first month, they are exhibiting tantrums when separating, having difficulty getting along with others, avoiding normal activities, or experiencing physical symptoms like stomachaches or sleep issues, it may be time to seek an evaluation from a psychologist or psychiatrist. Professionals can offer various interventions, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches skills to address and confront anxiety.
